[about romance] “Do you think Shakespeare would be disappointed with this generation?”
Fucking shit Tom can you at least be a lovable womanizer or something instead of ACTUAL PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING??
You realize how much worse you make average guys seem every time you open your goddamn mouth, Tom??
Example:
My cosmetology class is alongside the auto body and diesel repair classes. They act like they’ve never seen a woman before in their LIVES.
THEY QUACKED AT US ONCE. QUACKED. I’M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THAT’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING MEAN, TOM.
This would’ve been just a normal thing I expected from The Average American Man-Folk like a year and a half ago. No big deal, you know. Eye roll and move along.
But no.
YOU had to pop up and be a fucking RIDICULOUS CHARMING BASTARD and prove my mom wrong about the whole “prince charming doesn’t exist so don’t get your hopes up” thing and now getting quacked at is just a reminder THAT YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE AND PROBABLY DON’T QUACK AT RANDOM WOMEN AND I WILL DIE ALONE BECAUSE I CANNOT SETTLE FOR A FUCKING QUACKER NOW, THOMAS.
I AM SENDING YOU MY KITTY LITTER BILL FOR MY 500 CATS, TOM.
