[about romance] “Do you think Shakespeare would be disappointed with this generation?”
Fucking shit Tom can you at least be a lovable womanizer or something instead of ACTUAL PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING??
You realize how much worse you make average guys seem every time you open your goddamn mouth, Tom??
My cosmetology class is alongside the auto body and diesel repair classes. They act like they’ve never seen a woman before in their LIVES.
THEY QUACKED AT US ONCE. QUACKED. I’M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THAT’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING MEAN, TOM.
This would’ve been just a normal thing I expected from The Average American Man-Folk like a year and a half ago. No big deal, you know. Eye roll and move along.
YOU had to pop up and be a fucking RIDICULOUS CHARMING BASTARD and prove my mom wrong about the whole “prince charming doesn’t exist so don’t get your hopes up” thing and now getting quacked at is just a reminder THAT YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE AND PROBABLY DON’T QUACK AT RANDOM WOMEN AND I WILL DIE ALONE BECAUSE I CANNOT SETTLE FOR A FUCKING QUACKER NOW, THOMAS.
I AM SENDING YOU MY KITTY LITTER BILL FOR MY 500 CATS, TOM.